A Fresh New Start for 2014

I'm back! Have you been missing me? ;)
It feels really gooooood to back here to recharge and be myself again.
Finally being able to sit down to think and reflect--that sense of secure and serenity of quietly writing in the middle of the night, that inner voice of mine that is no longer masked by the other noises from outside.

In 2013, I opened my eyes to my hidden potentials and strengths, at the same time unveiling my fears and weaknesses.
I wasn't embracing life as much as I wanted myself to.
I wasn't getting inspired that much.
I wasn't being that happy with myself, the way I live and the world I built around me.

A few of my goals for 2014:

1) Be the type of woman I want to be. I want to make myself proud and be someone who I myself can fall in love with.
Develop that attractive personality and charm. Be warm, kind, soft, gentle, accepting and loving. Stay true, honest and sincere, so much that the right people will adore me while the wrong people will think I'm rude but I won't give a shit. Do all things with love. Smile often. Appreciate the beauty in everything. Be chic and stylish by having my own style and building a wardrobe that works for me. Be intelligent and wise. Be independent, brave and strong. Be confident and sexy by knowing what I want and work towards my happiness while at the same time giving the world my generosity and the gift of love.

2) Take better care of myself in every way possible. Time for me to love myself more.
I have been putting my attention and efforts on my relationships and other things that I haven't been listening to my heart enough. It is very tiring to feel trapped and lost, so it's time for a change. Be bold and don't be afraid in making choices. It's perfectly fine to say no and it's actually healthy. Say no to whatever that does me no good, whether it is people, things, beliefs or habits--one of the many ways of self-loving. Be spiritual.

3) Create a better and healthy lifestyle.
For the past year, no exercise, spend a little too much, didn't read enough.
There really were times I felt like I was getting a panic attack, and they are such obvious signs that I'm not living the right way. If I don't slow down a bit to appreciate life more, I bet I'm getting a high blood pressure (or heart attack!) very soon.
Have to make plans to make exercise regular, better manage money and time, make time to relax, read and have better rest.

4) Be inspired and take adventures
Be grateful but never stop the pursuit of a better self. Be open minded. Stop worrying and being nervous all the time.
Always remind myself that if it is both terrifying and exciting, I should definitely go for it.


For the big picture, just one big aim for 2014:
I want the positive good vibes back.
That excitement towards life, that passion, that inner peace, that hope and joy, that positivity, that energy, that love.

I want to once again feel that I radiate and glow with positive energy.
And spreading it to the world around me.


My dear, what are your plans for the year ahead?
If you do exactly the same things you do now, everything will remain the same.
So, whatever your plan is, be a better you. :)

Love,
N

How I Spent 2012

2012.
What a year!
I laughed, I cried,
I broke down and calmed down.
I built and created things with my hands and destroyed things with the same pair of hands.
I met new people and lost some beloved ones.
I ended my life as a student and started my new life as part of the work force.
I left familiar places and went on adventures to unknown new places and countries.
I loved and at the same time, had quite a few heartbreaking moments.

At the beginning of 2012, I decided not making any resolutions because I knew it would be an extensive list of things I wouldn't able to achieve if I set specific goals for myself.
I knew there are lots and lots of things I want to achieve or improve.
And I know a rebellious person as I am, I don't follow rules and stick to plans.
So what works best for me is--No boundaries to limit myself. The sky is the limit.
I try my best with every single thing whenever I feel ambitious about it.

Did it work?
I think so.
Let me share with you some of the many great things I experienced in 2012.

1) My baby project led me on quite a journey.
2) I graduated with unexpectedly good results.
By the time I graduate, I wasn't feeling ashamed anymore.
I am actually happy and felt like I learnt something and grew up.
Who would have thought?! I still remember crying so much when I knew I got into this program and hated going to school for almost the entire first 2 years!
3) Worked for the fair trade NGO.
It fed my curiosity about how fair trade really works.
Thought I would enjoy working for a cause, but was very disappointed to find out the actual work of an NGO doesn't resemble any of my imagination.
4) Went to the gorgeous Turkey. It is like no other places I have ever been to.
5) Went to Stanford for the summer. Something I still couldn't believe that happened.
6) Travelled part of the East Coast of the US.
7) 1st time traveling with my boyfriend, to the US and Korea.
8) Worked in a place that I have always been very curious about.
Work was much more interesting that I thought.
People are so unbelievably nice.
It's a job that is too good to be true.
9) Made some good decisions.
10) Gained precious relationships.

But while I feel like 2012 was a fruitful year and have a feeling that 2013 is gonna be challenging but equally memorable, I have to say I have not forgotten about the huge loss I suffered in the end of June.
I share all these good exciting news of mine with people who are close to me.
But there is still one more person that I want to share with but no longer able to.
I wrote that I felt like we were on a train which he got off early, forgot to say goodbye and will never be able to.
I wrote that his death is gonna be a forever sadness.
6 months have passed and I still feel the same.
I miss my cousin who was like a big brother to me.
If he were still here, he is gonna be very proud of me for my little achievements, even though they are just negligibly little ones.

I forgave myself for my flaws and the mistakes I have made, the doubts and confusion that I trapped myself in and the occasional self-induced negativity.
I hope people forgive me for the damage I did to them and to our relationship.
I hope I didn't hurt others more than I ever imagined.
I hope I wasn't a trouble or a mistake.
I can wipe out all these negative events that happened and only remember the lessons I learnt.
But the one fact that I lost my cousin, it is still too painful to be forgotten, too big a loss and too deep a wound.

As much as I don't want to accept the reality, a fact is a fact.

I don't want to say that I have become stronger, wiser and better in 2012----because I don't feel like I am any stronger, wiser and better. And even if I do, it is just natural that people grow up and be better. It is nothing to be proud of.

In general, I enjoyed and loved my life in 2012.
And I'm determined to stay positive and have this 'love life as hard as possible' attitude for the years to come.

Dear readers,
What have you learnt in 2012? Did you spent it good?
I hope you did.
But if you didn't like 2012, don't worry, the prophecy of doom's day in 2012 was just a false alarm.
Let's make 2013 a better year then.

Hello 2013!

Stay positive and love life :)

Love,
N

Happy 2012!

Back home at around 3.
(I'm actually early. I heard that my grandparents were home later than me! Partying at the age of 70+!)
It took us an hour to walk from TST to my place
My boyfriend walked me home then it took him another hour to go home.
The jazz bar was very good, the music, band and atmosphere.
Not sensual, soft and intimate type of jazz, but big band sort of jazz, swing and festive.
Perfect for the new year's eve. We both have a blast.

Greetings from Hong Kong: Happy 2012!
Taken when we were on our way home. Didn't watch the fireworks.
Don't really like the crowd and the 'wow's as if they are kids.
Fireworks are beautiful, but I prefer the enjoy the show quietly or express the amazement quietly.

Woke up late today and  found home empty; just me and my unbearable craving for wonton noodles.
I have an obsession for wonton noodles, a local delicacy. Um...maybe not that local, since Chinese are everywhere now.
Every once in a while, I get sudden but strong cravings for it.
Usually when I just come back to Hong Kong from a trip.
But I guess it's a pretty good way to start off the year, eating comfort food and being down to earth.
Being simple and grateful is always the best attitude, isn't it? : )

My parents called and asked me to join them for brunch somewhere in TST.
It has traffic arrangements (again!) for some parade. I didn't want to walk an hour to get there.
At that moment, all in my mind is a good bowl of wonton noodles, simple as that.
I told them my craving and promised to take them to somewhere which is clean and serves good wonton noodles.
I bet I sounded desperate.They laughed and agreed to eat with me.
They laughed again when I ordered my 2nd bowl of wonton noodles.
Yup, I ate 2 large bowls of noodles. I told you the craving is unbearably strong!

I love how my parents always laugh when I do harmlessly stupid things.
They never criticize or control me excessively; only teach me important rules of life and then let me explore the rest.
I wanna be kind and loving just like them.
Probably I should treat my brother better too, my parents say I'm more like a mother than a sister to my brother. Worse, a typical Asian mother, the tiger mom, nagging him all the time and being mean.
Okay, I am gonna treat my brother better this year.

I have always told my parents that we should get each other gifts on special days.
But my mother doesn't understand it, she said, 'we don't have to wait for festivals to buy gifts!'
She is right, in a sense that every day could be a gift day, every day is the perfect day to express love and care.
I tried so hard to convince her that exchanging gifts on festivals or special days is something our family should do regularly as a tradition.
It's not about the price. It's about thinking of each other, addressing their needs or just making them happy.
I want handwritten notes/ cards and handmade little things.

My parents took my suggestion and gave me and my brother surprise new year gifts.
Just as my craving was satisfied and I was oh-so-happy, my parents gave me this bright orange-y box.

Gorgeous packaging

The packaging is oh-so-colorful and I looked just like this (probably starry-eyed too)--> : D

Unwrapping, unwrapping...what is it?

TA DA! my new wallet!

I just told you how much I love my old Kate Spade wallet and my parents got me a new one!
I love monochrome but not sure if I'm equally in love with the prints.

But I'm happy that my parents took my suggestion and I guess they like the new tradition too.
My mum was proudly saying that she knows that I adore the brand for its chic and fun.
She seemed to read my mind and said, 'I know your love the old one and intend to use it for a long time, but you can still use the new one. You can have both, don't feel like you're cheating on wallets!' and followed by laughter again.
My dad was saying he knows I like long wallets and it matches most of my outfits.

Both of them said they know I'd want to check out other wallets too, so they kept the receipt.
They know me so well!
And they said everything in that 'I-know-my-daughter-so-well-and-I'm-proud-about-that' tone that I can't help smiling to.

How can I not love my parents?!
Not just because they buy me stuffs, but more importantly because they know me well and love me as I am.
For what they did for us, all the sacrifices they made, their devotion and love for us, I'm eternally grateful.
Incredibly loving and supportive. And kind.

I wish them all the best in the coming year as they are about to make some important career decisions: they might work at home! Home office!
They are pretty excited about this home office idea.
Since their work can be quite flexible and that their smart phones or iPad or whatever it is can help them finish their work easily, they are thinking of giving the idea of home office a try.
I'm excited about transforming our study room into their new home office too!

I love home decor or doing these home makeovers.
Yup, I'm the art director at home and my ultimate goal is to re-paint the living room.
I mean it! I hate that sunset yellow we're having now. It gives me headache.

New year's day Dinner: seafood hot pot & Sake. Perrrr-fect match.
I'm gonna make breakfast for my family tomorrow. Shhh! It's a surprise!
I swear I needa work after tomorrow, or else I'll get into trouble and hate myself for having too much fun.

Happy 2012 to you. Thank you for reading.
Wish you a year full of love and blessings.

Love,

N

Upcoming post: Resolution (or Anti-resolution?)