How to Survive Unwanted Conversation As a Fresh Graduate

Went to two dinner parties this weekend.
One birthday party for 200 and another much smaller Father's Day family gathering.
I'm glad to share with you that I survived both parties very well. Phew! :)

As a fresh graduate, the single most scary question to be asked is,
'so what are you going to do next?'.
Or more specifically, 'how's job search? What job are you looking for?'

Well, if I made it into psychology, I wouldn't have to go through such awkward moments.
But the truth is: I didn't get into Psychology and I have to deal with those questions all the time, which is why I want to be absent from or escape from social events.
I feel bad about myself.
That familiar feeling that I'm a failure--a recurring and terrible feeling that I cannot get used to.

I know, people ask about you because they care about you, but sometimes it is the concern that pressurizes.
I have thought of ways to avoid be asked questions.
Examples:
1) Stop being well-dressed. Ever feel like you wanna disappear or become invisible? Yes? Me too. So I thought if I stop dressing up and kick off my high heels, I could just blend in so well that people won't notice me anymore.
Result: Fail. Those who wanna talk to you are still gonna catch you, especially very persistent (/annoying) ones, they can always hunt you down somehow. The fact that you are not dressed up makes you feel even worse.
2) Be absent or escape. It's good to take breaks every now and then, but you can't do this all the time.

There are other ways like speaking rubbish but pretend that you are saying something meaningful, excuse yourself for toilet trips or phone calls, etc etc.
All of these little tricks doesn't help me to get rid of that anxiety, awkwardness and feeling of 'failure'.
So I thought, 'why bother to live in such a tiring manner?'

I survived the 1st dinner easily. Mostly because there were many guests and I was too unimportant.
It is very easy to hide or 'swim' among the guests.
Get a drink, mingle for a while, move on, disappear to washroom, come back and talk to someone else, smile and disappear. Repeat the process.
People are certainly aware of your presence, they talked to you for a while but they didn't have enough time to find out your future plans. Awesome.

The 2nd one was a bit more difficult because it was a family gathering.
My tactics for the night:
1) Find a topic that THEY can do the talking while I just listen (or pretend to listen)
Good ones: News. Anything related to money, any type of market. Shopping. Health. Their kids.
My recent trip to Turkey is proven to be quite an interesting topic that makes people forgot the fact that I have to find a job. And thanks to iPad, I showed them pics to distract them even more. Nice.

2) Keep answers short and do it firmly & politely.
Send the message: I don't wanna discuss further, if you could excuse me.
I don't mind telling my grandpa that I'm still figuring out my direction, but he doesn't have to know the storm in my mind like 'I'm feeling really nervous, miserable and insecure. I don't know what to do with my life. I wanna go back to university, not for escape but to feed my curiosity. My current supervisor doesn't trust/like me. I don't wanna work there anymore.'
The world has enough negativity and everybody has their own problems, who'd wanna listen to me bitching about such things anyway?!
And after all, we all face similar situations in our lives--so, no big deal, I can handle that. :)
Besides, I don't want them to worry about me.
Somehow, I think it is a type of disrespect to your parents or older family members if you make them worry about you.

Last but the most important thing to survive unwanted conversation:
Be yourself and be honest.
It always works.
As we all go through similar situations and people only ask about you because they care (with some exceptions who just wanna make you appear as a loser), it's perfectly alright to let them know that you are still figuring out your way.
None of us are born with everything. To create our own lives is something we should all be very proud of.
Never be boastful and make things up to appear better.
What's the point of doing so?
For face? To impress people that you don't even like?
I'd rather save that energy to build my life.

So my answer for tonight was, 'I'm still figuring out what is suitable for me and I'm open to all possibilities. Staying positive and working my best won't lead me too far astray. After all, it's just my first job, I can change and create my path, can't I?'
Oh! I just realized that I have used a tricks, subconsciously: end with a rhetorical question so they can only agree with you.

Um...what else? Yes! Be confident and smile.

Dear readers,
Next time you go to a social event, don't be nervous, probably many of the guests are as nervous as you.
And now, with the little tricks I shared with you, I think you are ready to go.
It is not as difficult as you thought, right? You just need confidence and a bit of practice.
Be confident, be honest, stay cool, have good manners and just smile.
You are gonna be fine. :)

In case you are still nervous, loosen up by looking at such cute pictures!

By the way, happy father's day! :)

Love,
N

On Packing Light, again...

Last summer, I wrote a post on my inability to pack light.
You know, as times goes, people learn and people change.
We improve on our weaknesses and become better.
Probably you'd think that I'm gonna say I improved.
But no, another reality in life is: some parts of us just never seem to go away, no matter how hard you try.

My packing-light disability is so engraved in me that it is in my genes (just that my parents don't seem to have this problem) and further intensified by the fact that I'm a woman.
I'm just a woman.
So, no escape. I'm doomed.

Same old haunting questions that fill my mind every single time I pack:
'Should I bring an extra outfit? Maybe an extra (t-shirt/cardigan/shirt/bra/scarf/whatever that is).'
'Should I bring unwanted clothes to toss away during the trip? But why should I bring unwanted clothes to a trip instead of nicer ones?'
'Do items match?'

Surrounded by a castle that made up of little knolls of clothes, I just sat there for hours, being so helplessly miserable and don't know what to pack and where to start.
If girls fantasize knights on white horses coming to save them, that is the exact moment that I want him to come to my rescue.
Yes, I am that miserable.


Even though I did made a list of things to bring, it doesn't seem to help.
9 outfits turned out to be 11 mismatching outfits, 9 sets of underwear turned out to be 3 bras and 12 panties,
2 jacket turned out to be 5...
Don't ask me why or how it happened.
Probably my suitcase has magic power to get excessive number of items and leave out other essential items.
I'm sure it's just my magical suitcase. Not me.

Dressing conservatively is a good idea for where I'm heading to.
So, this time I'm bringing with me:
1) A total of 5 maxi dresses, both plain and patterned ones. Navy, grey, black, and colorful printed ones.
2) Shirts for laying: 1 denim, 1 checked, 1 plain white
3) 2 pair of jeans: one light, one dark
4) Loose or slight over-sized t-shirts: off-shoulder & v-neck
5) Scarves
6) 1 pair of sandals, 1 pair of flipflops, 1 pair of Converse sneakers
7) Jackets: 1 denim jacket, 1 linen blazer, 1 cardi, 1 zip-up hoodie

Overpacked, I know.
Won't be able to throw any of the items that I bring because they are all my all-times fav staples.
Given that they are all versatile items, I can actually wear them for a whole month by mix-and-match.
Anyway, going to rationalize and downsize it tonight.

Note to future husband:
1) If I take hours to pack, create mess at home and make you impatient, don't get angry or laugh at me when you see me being so helpless. It really is one of my weaknesses. Sorry, I'm just a woman.

2) Sometimes I forget to check the weather forecast, so please tell me about the weather of our destination. Words please, not numbers. I know this is stupid but telling me that it would be 9-25 degrees doesn't make much sense to me. Rather, tell me: autumn-almost-winter weather.

3) Even though I'm tempted to have someone else pack for me, I'd probably do the whole thing again myself. If you are ever sweet enough to offer help, thank you but it's a good idea for you to leave me alone or just give me a hug when I'm totally lost.

4) When I get trapped in this eternal paradox of packing unwanted clothes VS nicer clothes, just tell me to pack both. This suggestion saved me today and I guess it'll work again.

5) If I stuff my suitcase, which happens every time that we should make it a 'truth', show me your love by giving me that extra space in your luggage. I'd be so grateful and repay you in a way that you'll love.

6) If you ever need my help, I'm more than happy to pack for you. But only when I'm done with mine. You know, harder task comes first.

7) I think men's shirts are perfect items for travelling. So don't be surprised if you find some of yours missing or finding them in my suitcase. I promise I won't take your favourites or pricey ones.
I know I'm spoiled, but for that few days of the trip, they are mine.
If you take them away from (or take them off) me, I'll bite you. Whether the bite is in a nice or not-so-nice way depends on how you do it.

8) Finishing packing might mean nothing to you, but surviving the countless hours of packing is a mini accomplishment for me. Please reward me with a hug/ kisses/ a 3-min shoulder massage.

Love,
N
(Progress of packing: only half done...)

Calming Read & Movie Night

Watched the movie Sherlock Holmes 2: A Game of Shadows.
Didn't watch the first one, but the sequel is incredible; exciting plot, action-packed and clever use of visual effects.
Really enjoyed it.
Though I heard someone snoring in the theatre and overheard a conversation in the ladies' room which goes like this:

Woman 1: You like the movie?
Woman 2: It's alright, except the slow motion shots. They are using that to lengthen the movie.
Woman 1: Who cares?! The actor who plays the doc is good-looking, what's his name?
Woman 2: I don't know.

I can't help but rolled my eyes, maybe more than once.

Not sure if it is the word, but the slow motion shots are sophisticated.
I bet it takes much effort and time to perfect it. And I admire people who make them.

People may like it or dislike it, but to lengthen the movie?! Seriously?

Not sleeping very well these days; sometimes because of work, sometimes due to the stress.

Try to have the best of both worlds, work and private life, and thus sacrifice some sleep time.

I sleep a little then get up after the midnight to do some quiet readings, for both work and leisure.

At times, because of the stress, I wake up in the middle of the night, knowing that I still have plenty to do.

These thoughts really stay in your mind, partly because they are true.
Sometimes my brain screams this to my face, like a slap: You should be more productive! You should be better then this! Go work your ass off!

Sometimes it works and I'll get up.

In either way, I end up waking up in the middle of the night to read.
Fortunately, it doesn't bother me much, yet.
I love to read and how quiet night is. Absolutely me time.

Last night, the same happened.
But what was on my mind is not studies-related, it is the book that I'm dying to read: 

Child of the Jungle by Sabine Kuegler.

I remembered what my friend/ prof / friendly prof told me: using reward as motivations for work, even before work.
To speak in the language of Psychology, one of the most famous works of B.F. Skinner, a learning theory called 'Operant Conditioning': To reward is positive reinforcement to encourage favourable behavior.

Nice. One more justification for me to start reading it. 

It's a captivating read, like a friend sharing her story.
Despite the Fayu tribe has a reputation of brutal killings and wars, her experience living with them in the jungle is entirely different, rather amicable and peaceful.

It is a difficult task to express one's awe for nature or trying to describe its beauty with the right words, without appearing to be exaggerating or overly poetic. I think the author has done a good job.

I have never lived in a jungle.

Thought the book is an exciting adventure (haven't finish it, maybe it is going to be),

but somehow it touches me and soothes me while amazes me.

The words are very simple, but to my surprise, incredibly calming and soothing.

I enjoy the moments of peace it gives me.

Who said nights are for sleep? : )

Love,
N

Avocado Pancake & Homemade Seasoning Salt

Spent some quality time with my family today.
My mum and I made some homemade seasoning salt.
For the sake of our family's health (cutting the sodium consumption) and the fun of doing it.
Making homemade seasoning salt is actually a great fun thing to do;
putting things in the blender, (the few-thousands-worth-multi-functions-&-high-power blender is one of my mum's toys in the kitchen, I said I'd never invest so much in a blender, but now I kinda fall in love with it too)
making noise,
doing the packaging with pretty jars or tins or glasses,
writing sweet notes so we can give these pretty jars of salt to family and friends.

Made different flavors of homemade seasoning salt.
Basically we are cutting the amount of salt we use (at least cutting 50%), by mixing in different seasonings or spices or herbs to compensate for the saltiness and giving it more flavor.
We use sea salt but of course regular salt will do equally fine.
My mum and I rarely follow recipes, and we are inventing our own, so feel free to mix everything.
Just remember: less salt, more other flavorful-but-less-sodium stuffs. And no artificial flavors or additives!
I'm feeling illiterate now, I don't know the English for some specific ingredients! I'll try explain it and with the aid of photos. Sorry if I'm making you confused.

1) Japanese style:
    -seaweed: not the ones we use to make sushi, but the thick type of seaweed. Buy those from Japan or South Korea. Check for the nutrition label to make sure you get the ones with least sodium or additives.
    -Katsuobushi: just Japanese sliced dried fish, those 'flakes' they sprinkle on Japanese dishes.



2) Chinese style
   -dried shrimps or dried fish: pretty common Chinese food. Again, opt for naturally sun-dried ones or ones with less (or most preferably no) additives. We usually wash them first and clean the guts out, then sun-dry them again.
   -dried mushroom
   -make sure everything is completely dry, cut them into smaller pieces before blending
   -dried seafood is already salty, so you can cut the salt even more and use less of the the final product while you cook

3) Western style
  -Pick any of your favorite herbs: you can buy the dried ones or if you plant your own herbs, like my family, chop some off and leave them to dry completely.
  -any common herbs will do: rosemary, basil, lemongrass, oregano, dill, paprika, bay leaves, etc etc. The combination is endless.

The final product is not pure white, but don't worry it tastes fantastic.
Store them into sterilized glass jars or tin bottles, give them a pretty label.
It's also great gifts! Just make pretty labels, tie a ribbon or just a string and attach a sweet note.
You can make scrubbing salt the same way, just add lavender or other things to rock salt or sugar, instead of the fine ones, and add some natural essential oil or olive oil.
Voila!

You can make so many different types of seasoning salts that suits your taste.
It makes cooking easier and your diet more healthy. And it's very simple to make.
You can even mix salt and pepper and a bit of lemon (or grapefruit!) zest. That's probably the easiest one.
Just be creative and experiment.

Told you I'm gonna make breakfast for my family, right?
Thought I could be the earliest one to wake up and make breakfast, but I couldn't.
So I gave it a twist and served breakfast in the afternoon, more like tea.
Made pancakes (except the first two, all pancakes look pretty round and good ), chopped some avocado on top, sprinkled a bit of brown sugar on avocado.
It's quite nice.
The richness & creaminess of avocado makes it a great substitute for butter.
No butter and no syrup. Think I've found a healthy pancake recipe.

Enjoy Cooking & Bon Appetit!

Love,
N

Day 10: Live Colorfully

Photo of the day: 

Taken at one of my favourite brands: Kate Spade New York.

I love that the brand is simple but fun, bold and chic at the same time.
I love typography, words or quotes in designs, so I can't escape from Kate Spade.
It's also reasonably priced and affordable compared to other brands.

Don't really like their handbags or clothing, but love their wallets, clutches, little leather goods and accessories like bangles or cocktail rings.

I'm using my Kate Spade wallet for a few years now, a birthday gift from my mother.
Still love it so much that I don't wanna use any other wallets.

Also partly because I think soft, worn leather is one of the most beautiful things in the world.

Last day of the year, sort of an obligatory time for everyone to ponder on the question 

'What have I done this year?'

A lot, both good and bad, has happened. But I only remember the good ones vividly.

My wonderful family, fantastic boyfriend, amazing friends, inspiring and nice people I met.

Counting my blessings is always a humbling thing to do; to realize that I got more than I deserve.

One thing that I'm very happy about: being able to be happy again.

Used to think that happiness is a very basic thing, that everybody could enjoy it as long as they embrace it.
I still think it that way, that all of us are entitled to be happy.
But now I see happiness more precious than I used to.
All because I have once lost it, for many reasons.
All because I have once let failure, negativity, frustration and confusion consumed me to a point that I couldn't find a reason why I should be happy about being me.

Being happy again is a process.
Step out of the shade bit by bit, changing the way I think one idea at a time, kicking away the negativity one thing at a time.
In the year 2011, I'm very happy. And I'm truly grateful for that.
I'm more positive than ever.

In my third year of university life, I have found myself again.
More comfortable with what I study, more comfortable with myself.
I was once so lost in the world of politics, wondering:

why people do more harm to each other than help?

why are we always flawed & behave in a certain way and could we change it?

why do wars still happen in the 21st century and will it ever stop?
why do we study political science instead of the art of peace and love?

Up until this moment, I have no answer to those questions.
(If any of you have an idea, enlighten me please)

But I'm no longer frustrated or saddened by the reality that we live in a flawed, sometimes very cruel and bad, world.

We might not able to change everything. But we can do it one step at a time.

Like how I find my way back to happiness. Stay hopeful and love life.

I'm not perfect or close to perfect.
But at least now I'm not obsessed with it.
(Confession: Well, I still wanna get As...because if I don't, I feel like I didn't do enough to feed my curiosity. And I'm always curious.)
I still wanna improve and be better, not aiming at perfection, just wanna be a better person in various ways.

I want to be an inspiring person who spreads love and positivity.
I want to serve not just children or the psychologically broken, but also other needy in the world. (which is why I'm preparing for master's application in Canada)

This year, I lived my life with love. Surrounded by love and tried to spread love as much as possible too.

'Love as hard as I can' became the line that represents the year, or my current outlook of life.
I hope my love-life attitude and positivity are staying with me for 2012 or my entire life.

Going to a jazz bar tonight with my boyfriend.
This is the first time I'm not at home or in my boyfriend's or friend's place for countdown.
I love staying home for countdowns, cozy and warm (physically or metaphorically), feeling that love is in the air.
I don't like the crowd and the confusing traffic arrangements.
I don't like being with a million strangers around me, or be specific, only within 5cm around me.
But since I'm having my love-life attitude, I'm gonna try something different this year.

Dear, I wish you a happy new year. Live colorfully, enjoy life and love hard.
Love & a big hug,
N

Day 6: Bohemian

'Not in the mood.'
This is the wildcard of girls.Well, at least, me. I think I heard someone saying 'stereotype!'
When we (oops!) I, don't wanna do something, from work to sex (not a part of my current life, just for example), I don't really need a legitimate reason that makes sense, let alone being reasonable.
Well, emotions is a big thing for girls. It's what our brains are built around, how our brains are wired.

Not in my perfect 'blogging/ photo-taking' mood, but still need to push myself a bit so that I don't fall into the spiral of depressive mood and inactivity.
And I have to keep my words.

So, here it goes:

A picture I drew, not my best or better works.
Don't expect too much, I have never taken any painting classes.
I did this one night when I can't sleep.
Thoughts battling in my mind but the late night itself was quiet and serene, perfect for painting.

One of the many thoughts was the bohemian lifestyle.
I have a fantasy of living like a bohemian.
I'm sort of a bohemian at heart, not always but the desire comes back every now and then.
By bohemian, I refer to the French kind of bohemians, not the American hippies.

My ideal bohemian lifestyle is like:
1) French-inspired, singing Je Ne Veux Pas Travailler all day long, doing what I want instead of following routines, picnics in the park, lying on the grass/ the beach, a bit of drinking and eating good food in small portions so that I won't become really overweight
(one of my weird theories: being moderately curvy is a way to happiness)

2) Absolutely no drugs or casual sex.Other things: in moderation.
Sex is not a part of my life now.
Another of my little theories for a good life:
(might vary on the first one, but absolutely gonna stick with the latter one)
Don't have sex before you are married, unless you wanna/sure that you are serious or gonna marry him/her. (no one can be sure, so forget it)
Don't have too few sex after you are married.
(Absolutely yes on this one! There you go, a possible solution to save marriage and prevent a divorce. Thank me later.*wink*)

3) Not necessary impoverished.
Come back from the sex part or my little theories, I'm talking about bohemian lifestyle!
Yup, my ideal bohemian way of living is simple. But not impoverished.
It's about voluntary frugality, not poverty.
I still wanna live in the city or the countryside, not wilderness or...in an old car.

The sarcastic part of me just said: Pretentious fake bohemian. Haha.
Hey! My 'love hard & love all' attitude is a proof of the bohemian in me!
So maybe what I want is 'urban-bourgeoisie-bohemianism'?
I just invented a new term! A lengthy one. Let's just call it UBB.

Back to the drawing. It's also about the romance of bohemian fashion: floral headband, wavy messy hair.
I absolutely adore bohemian style in fashion.

Why I like Bohemian Style in Fashion: (Maybe I have an obsession for making lists but...I'm just being a woman!)
1) The loose fitting which allows me to move around, dance, twirl or even climb
2) Self-expressive: dressing for comfort but hopefully still pretty (an extra clause for my definition of UBB).
3) Floral prints and lace (moderation is the key), maxi dresses, the simplicity, sheer & light fabric, pretty ethnic prints, lots of jewelries, turquoise accessories, brown leather items, etc etc. I just can't say no.
I can only say no to ponchos and fringes. Ponchos and capes never make me look good.
I never wear a fringe bag.
And I only wear clothes with fringes in two occasions: latin dance or Halloween.
4) Long, wavy, messy hair. My signature. Don't really brush my hair & I can never get it straight, just naturally curl and untamed. That's the word: untamed.

My painting faintly reminds me of Mischa Barton. Maybe I'm influenced by the images of her that I saw, without remembering. Anyway, it's an interesting coincidence: the green eyes and floral headband

Love,
N

My Dear Bed,

For some reason, tutorials are over and I got a day-off from school today.I really need a quiet day at home to clear things up.
Woke up feeling contented this morning after hours of sleep.
Wake up in a warm, cozy, soft bed is probably one of the best moments in life.
At the exact moment when I was feeling great, my lengthy To-Do list just popped into my mind.
That's probably one of the worst feelings in life too. Argh.


I think I really heard a soft voice in my head, 
'The bed is so warm and soft and cozy,
the feeling of cotton sheets against you skin,
the warmth that feels like a gentle embrace...
And you're having a sore throat now.Maybe you need extra time in bed. Just an hour or two.'


There is something faintly luxurious & sensual about having a whole day of no school.
Plenty of sleep, messy hair, the sweet seductive fragrant in the room, the warmth, the sweet dreams from the night before...
All of these create the illusion: Take your time. You can afford to feel lazy.
I have been tempted too many times.
And no, I can't afford that, at least not these weeks.

Temptation is always sweet and gentle, like a mistress.
And fortunately, I'm not a man.


Smiled & thought,
'My sweet gentle bed, thank you for such a good night of sleep.
I'm gonna leave you, work hard & rock it. See you tonight.'
Smiled again, for the sillyness in me of actually talking to my bed,
even if the conversation is only in my head.


To whoever reading this: (more like advice for myself though)
Stop feeling powerless in face of daunting tasks and endless work! 

Nothing worth doing is easy
You can do it, one step at a time.


That's right.
First step to fight procrastination: Leave your bed.
Second step: just start doing what you're supposed to. 


Smile,
dive in,
try to love what you're doing,
stay focused & enter a state of mind:
Flow.


Note to self: Ok, break time's over.
Get back to work and rock it, girl.


Love,
N

Photos: Emily Smith by Robert Harper for Naag

Nobody's Perfect

Today's social psychology class was on aggression.
We were asked on what kind of aggressive behaviour we ever did on somebody else.
Clearly, no one thought they are abusive both physically or mentally, which is not true.
At some point of our lives, each and everyone of us has done something that hurt others, or even ourselves.

The lecture ended with how we should deal with aggression; to forgive.

Sometimes, I overthink. Perhaps more than sometimes.
I recall the past.
I think of people and things that I used to have/
              people and things that I did not have/
              people and things that I lost/
              the mistakes I have made
              and chances I missed.
And it kills me.

Overthinking & not letting go is probably the most torturing & mentally-abusive thing I ever did to myself.
The ideas of 'I should have...' and 'I shouldn't have...' just battle in my mind in a very disturbing way which makes the word 'haunting' very appropriate to use.

My inspiring psychology prof said, 'forgiving is not forgetting.'
Forgiving doesn't mean you don't have feelings over what happened,
it means that you understand clearly what happened but decide not to let emotions take over you anymore.
She's right.

When overthinking and recalling the past is too unbearably painful, I say to myself,
'it doesn't matter anymore.'
I have said it too many times, mostly out of frustration, instead of letting go or forgiveness.

This time when I say 'it doesn't matter anymore' to myself or somebody else,
I truly meant forgiveness and let go, not with bitterness but with sincerity and love.

All that love and sincerity comes from gratitude.
That I am grateful for what happened to me because it makes me stronger & better.
That I know the best way to greet the future is learning from the past and not making the same mistake twice.

It's over & things are gonna be alright now.


Love,
N

Stress-filled or Love-filled Birthday Month?

People say life's a bitch.

Sometimes, life is fucked up; our world is fucked up.

I know I know, a lady shouldn't swear.

Excuse me for the language, I'm trying to say something important.

I have been sleeping really little lately,
feeling like a zombie,
assessments & work are piling up,

deadlines are coming,
I want to go out & have fun AND it's just impossible, 

I crave for real food....

There is something wrong with this world we're living in.

Oh, not just some.

We all have our share of bad, unpleasant and nerve-wracking things.

That's a fact.

The point is: how you handle it?

Do you let it bring you down or embrace it bravely?

For all those who are out there, struggling on things large or small,
I want to tell you this:

Love your life, pick yourself up, keep going and be the best you could. 

This sounds cliche and easier said than done.
It's easier to say 'I'm a loser', 'I just cant do it anymore'.

But hey!
I DARE YOU: When things don't go right, smile & say 'come what may'.
That's what a true lady does, live it with grace.

Love more, love harder. Love life, love people & love yourself.

I know I know, sounds like I'm an insanely religious  person, preaching: God is LOVE!
But no, I'm not. 

Religious? No. 

Insane? Probably.

2 Random ways to make yourself feel better on a bad day/ hectic schedule:
1) Listen to Jessie J's songs.
I ADORE this girl. She's got loads of love, very positive, vibrant, energetic & daring.

I never idolize any of the celebs. 

But I honestly think the world would be a nice place, if there are more people like her.

2) Have nice long chats with interesting people or people who care about you.

That's one of the many ways I get myself out from stress, when life gets a little overwhelming.

It freshens up my mind & brightens up my day.

I hope you feel a little better after reading this, if you're having a stressful/ bad time now.

Now, I'm feeling much better after this 'half self-talk' thing. 

Should go back to work now.

Love,
N

P.S. My boyfriend & I have been together for 5 Years & 5 Months now!
Thanks for being there for me all the time, even when life gets bad.

Write a Bike

Confession:  At the age of 21, I still do not know how to ride a bike.

But seeing this Write A Bike project by Swiss art director Juri Zaech, it kinda makes me wanna learn how to ride one.

These bikes are probably concept bikes only, I'm not sure if they are really manufactured.

But hey! They look nice! 

Making my name on the frame of the bike is probably too much for me.
But I really like the idea of putting frames & typography together.

Simple typographic designs never fail to capture my heart.

If I were to order a unique bike, what word would I choose?

On a side note, cycling & fashion make a good couple.

This year's F/W 2011, 3.1 Phillip Lim made a video that named Girls on Bike.

And we all know how often street chic photos capture fashionistas on their bikes.
The Sartorialist often have those cycling chic photos.
These are some of my favourites.

Isn't she gorgeous?

Love this

Olivia Palermo & Hermes Birkin bag

It's officially Autumn today, the idea of mastering cycling is just so tempting now....hmm...

Oh! One last photo: Goodbye, Summer!

Love,
N

A City That Never Sleeps

What makes a city energetic & attractive?

Is it the skyscrapers? the lights?
the modern architecture? 

the luxury & ever-increasing standard of living?
the complicated transportation network (implying terrible rush-hour traffic jam)?
the fast-paced efficiency-is-key, time-is-money lifestyle (which gives people heart attacks & panic disorders)? 

I've been living in one of the world's best cities for almost my entire life.

And I'm becoming tired of it. 

When a city's prime concern is making money and more money, it is basically wasting talents and killing its people.

When people here work more than 45 hours per week, completely drained and burnt out, what on earth is life?

When people only judge a person's value by how much he/she makes, only mediocrities are produced, nothing more.

An ideal city/ world is a place where different talents can thrive, where people treat each other as valuable. Not because of their productivity or their contribution to the GDP, but valuable simply because they are human beings.

We all know money matters. But numbers cannot measure talents & the value of human beings.

Just one or two days ago, I came across a random facebook status of a young talent jazz band.
Basically it's about the band's struggle.
They make good music, have a good time doing so, got great reviews & fans who appreciate them.
All good, just one problem: they are not making enough money to feed the band. 

I guess this problem is pretty common, not just among musicians or artists.
People are suffocating their dreams & aspirations & talents to make ends meet.
This is reality. And it's a very sad one.

Why can't people embrace different talents?
Why can't people appreciate finer things in life?
And those small little things in life that can make you smile?
Why can't people spend more time showing love instead of shopping & watching tv?

I came across this new MV of Jay-Z & Alicia Key's 'Empire state of Mind'.
It is made by Life+Times. Like how lively it is.

It's not like if we want something bad enough and think about it enough, things would happen like miracles.

That's just plain un-constructive magical thinking.
People nowadays are too good at complaining.
So instead, take the less traveled path and be different. 

Embrace differences. 

Love,
N

When You Wish Upon A Star

Have you ever tried stargazing?
Or just looking up to the clear sky for the moon and stars?
I have not done that for a long while.

Every single time I see the sky full of stars, I melt a little.
It is a very humbling thing to do; just looking up to the sky, knowing that one is so small in the world or the universe.

I couldn't remember the last time I did that.
Simply because I rarely take the time to do so & the city is too bright and too polluted for stargazing.

What happens when fashion meets astronomy?

This is what happens: Galaxy & cosmic prints are eccentric.

Christopher Kane Resort 2011

Interesting scarf by YourEyesLie

So Chic! from Elle



WhenImNotNaked



WhenImNotNaked

WhenImNotNaked

Wildfox swimwear 2011

Couldn't find the source & not a piece of clothing, but I love this!! Adding a spark to bedroom & daily life.

Keep your eyes on the stars, and your feet on the ground.

 --Theodore Roosevelt

Love,

N

Kate Moss on US Vogue September Issue

Lila & Kate

SATC is nothing, compared to this

Love this

Wedding Inspiration:

Just perfect, girls walking straight out from fairy tales

Cake by Peggy Porschen

Home decor inspiration:

Flowers, glass items, mirrors, beige & white

All photos from Vogue

Love,
N

Expo de Rue

When I say 'the city is the best gallery one could imagine', what is the first thing that comes to your mind?
Graffiti, maybe?

French street artist JR

French artist JR moved on from graffiti to way bigger street art projects.
By bigger, I mean both size and scale.

His fabulous street art projects started with him finding an old camera in the Paris subway.
He started taking portraits of people, ordinary people like you and me, and printing the portraits into big posters.
Then pasting these huge posters on walls in the community. Illegally, sometimes.
The city is his canvas.

That is just a very brief summary of what he does.
But what he does is more than that. His projects are truly amazing.
A reason why the projects are amazing is that JR does not try too hard to spread his messages.
Yes, the portraits are big enough as statements.
But what I mean is that, by not explaining, he spreads the messages because of people's curiosity.

When he and his team were posting white paper on walls in India, locals don't know what they were doing.
They asked questions.

When the Face2Face project, the biggest illegal exhibition ever, have portraits of Palestinians and Israelis of similar backgrounds like occupation side by side, he left people thinking.
He asked, 'can you tell who is a Palestinian and who an Israeli?'
For your information, people couldn't tell the difference most of the time.

His Women are Heroes project was launched in many different countries in the world.
In places where conflicts are frequent, women are usually the first targeted victims.
His project reminds people the fact that women are heroes and pillars to the community, even when most of the time they are unseen.
Such a simple but great way to empower these women and make their stories heard, worldwide.

It is truly a beautiful thing to see men participating in the project to pay tribute to women.

Kenya

Rio de Janeiro

How fun! One of my favourites.

Earlier this year, in March, JR became the winner of the TED Prize 2011.
He launched his latest project Inside Out on the same day he made his TED Prize wish.
His TED Prize wish is to use art to change the world, inside out.
Now, you can send portraits to JR & his team via email, tell them your story and what you stand for.
In return, they will send you back the poster for you to post in public.

Wrinkles of the City--Shanghai
Another great work.

I have been telling people about JR & his projects, people ask me if I think his projects can really change the world.
Saying that posting portraits alone can change the world might be too ambitious.
But his projects are making statements and sending powerful messages, of all sorts. That's for sure.
Inspiring and motivating? Yes.
A beautiful way to celebrate humanity? (in terms of both art and the meaning it carries) Yes.

In the official video of the Inside Out project, a Tunisian boy who participated was interviewed.
He shared what the project means to him and what he said moved me.
He described the essence of the projects,

'It's not the same face but it's the same people.'

People, read about the works of JR & his team. Support them!
If their work doesn't make you smile, feeling more hopeful & motivated for a better world, I don't know what else does.

Love,
N