Home (2)

When my friends suggested a night out last night, I was having a total different idea about what a 'night out' means.

My definition of a night out certainly does NOT include the following:

1) going to a bar without wearing a bra 

2) grabbing condoms to prepare for casual sex with strangers

3) spending 30 mins waiting for a shuttle bus and walking another hour half for god knows how many miles just to get to the bar.

Okay, the first two things might be something that many people do, but sorry, that's not me.

And the 3rd item on the list...Seriously?! Walking for an hour half just to get there?!

Does clubbing or drinks worth THAT much effort?

I was totally jaw dropped thinking, 'these people must love clubbing so much, to a point that they think the walking is nothing!'

If they ever have the chance to come to HK, I bet they would not leave it just because of the REAL night life we have.

Imagine yourself getting tipsy or drunk, who'd want to walk 2 hours back? 

By the time you got back, you are probably not drunk anymore.

Being astonished by the ridiculous idea of walking more than an hour half just to get there and another hour half back, I couldn't care less about how anti-social I was and took a cab back to the dorm.
For reasons that I cannot comprehend, an American girl in the group got a bit angry at the fact that I left the group.
I find it so funny and kept smiling to her saying 'I'm sorry. I'm tired. I have to go back' etc etc when I was actually thinking, 'now talk about individuality and freedom.'

When I was on my way back, I was highly alert by how dark it was and how empty the streets were.

To ease that anxiety and discomfort I was in, I kept looking up in the sky and watched the stars.

It was beautiful and rare, for a city girl like me, that the sky is full of bright stars.

Yes, it was dangerous to be on a cab late and alone.

But it was still the right or wise thing to do.

So when I got back around midnight, I took a beer up to my room and started video chatting with my best friend.

To be honest, not that I dislike spending time with my friends here, but I was so glad that I left early.

I think I have surpassed the age of chain clubbing, irresponsible drinking and casual sex. 

Or maybe it never really did happen in my life because it is just not me. And I'm not sorry about it.

I'm not sorry about it at all when this morning I went to the bathroom, passing a few rooms and saw strangers walking out of my friends' rooms.

Perhaps it's not a big deal for them because clearly they were having a good time, but it was embarrassing for me because I don't know if I should say 'good morning' to them or just walk pass them as if I didn't see anyone and they didn't exist.

The idea that 'I'm sharing a bathroom with these girls who sleep around all the time, it's gross!' kept coming to my mind.

Terrible.

To make myself feel better, I went shopping the whole day.

I feel disabled here, where I have to wait for buses that only come once in an hour just to get me to the shopping centre (such a waste of time and how inefficient!) and that I don't have a car or a driving license and can only rely on the buses.

Since I'm this crazy shopaholic who feel disabled because I didn't shop for so long, I feel so much better after a day at the mall.

For a moment, I thought to myself, 'with shopping, I feel like I'm home.'

I guess it's natural because I live in a city where everything is accessible and convenient.

I have been making a lot of comparisons between things in the US and in Hong Kong.
I guess all the comparisons are pointless, because what I said in one of the group discussion describes exactly how I feel:
'there are things that I dislike about the place I live and grow up in, but I guess it does not matter if it is a bad place or a good one. I'm gonna love it forever simply because it is home'.

I miss home. And I love it.

Love,
N