I Think I Need Coffee...

'I think I need a coffee,' I said to myself, dispassionately.

'Could I have a cold Vietnamese drip coffee first?' I said to the waiter before the food menu was in my hands.

I don't even need to look at my parents to know that they were looking at me. 

Not just looking, but staring.

But how incredible parents they are--they want to ask but they won't let out a single word.
Probably because they know their daughter well--I will answer their questions before they ask.

Well, their eyes were asking me the question: why are you drinking coffee, my no-coffee daughter?

'I'm having a headache,' I answered, equally dispassionately.

Their eyes really couldn't lie, they continued to ask me 'why are you having a headache, my no-headache daughter?' without my parents opening their lips.

'Yea, I don't normal drink coffee and I don't get headache unless I have been crying like crazy or being sick. 

But I'm having both of them today, a coffee and a headache. Let's just say...this is a special Sunday.'

Their eyes just kept shooting me questions: so are you sick or did you cry all night long?

Curious parents have curious children. Now I know where my curiosity is from.

'I'm not sick and I did not cry all night long. It is probably just a hangover from last night, drinking till late and sleeping in the morning,' I was still having a poker face. 

Poker face...I don't know if I were feeling that bad that I couldn't care to smile or just that I was sending them the message 'I'm okay. I know you love me but no more questions.' with my facial expression.

I kept my head down, reading the menu...

Pho. 

Oh yes, one of my comfort foods. I need one now.

I remember the days when I lost appetite and couldn't sleep. 

Then the first thing I ate when I eat again was a simple shredded chicken pho.

And a raspberry sorbet which was sour enough to wake me up a bit, in a good and refreshing way.
It was only in June.
What month is it now, October?
How come it feels so far away already?
How come things changed so much already?

'Yes, a pho please. In hot soup. With limes and hot chili,' I ordered, before memories bring my mind away too far.

Headache, lost appetite, fatigue, nausea, slightly upset and feeling cold...
Sounds like it's a hangover. But why am I still feeling it now?

Even when I didn't drink!

Oops...I did. But I ONLY drank a beer last night! 

By the way, that Yebisu all malt beer at the Japanese restaurant was more bitter than eating an actual bitter melon.

Anyway, this question in my mind is: Is this a hangover, worried and stressed or me being depressed?

Well, the Vietnamese coffee did helped me a bit.
It doesn't taste as good as the one I tried before but of all the things that were on my mind, I couldn't care less about the taste of that one coffee I had in that Vietnamese restaurant.
As long as it wakes me up and stops the headache, it has done its job.

Today I'm still feeling the symptoms so I started the day drinking a cup of lemon water.
Juice of half a lemon, no sugar, dilute with water. Gulp it down before anything.
I do this every now and then as some sort of juice detox so I'm used to it.
It doesn't taste bad at all.
Gonna do this all through the week. Hope it works.

The question remains: Hangover, stress or depressed?

Maybe all three together and magnifying each other.
I don't like the nasty cocktail of the three combined!

Have to gulp down more juice and water while keep hushing myself,
'it's okay. This too shall pass, this too shall pass...'

Love,

N