A Little Heart

♥

This little thing used to fill up my schedule.

At the beginning, these little hearts filled up most of my week, 4 to 5 each week or even more.

Then it became once every two days. Still not bad.

In busier weeks, one or two little hearts.

At the worse times, one little heart in two weeks.

As I flip over my schedule of last year, there are fewer and fewer little red or pink hearts.

I only see a few of them scattered all over the month, like little spots here and there.

Then at some point, there is no more little red hearts.

They stopped appearing on my schedule.

I couldn't remember exactly when it was, but they just stopped.

Is it that I stopped having the feeling 'I HAVE to draw these little hearts to remind myself of the wonderful time'?

Or that the romance and passion itself die down over time?

Or is it that I am 'too busy' and no longer bother to even draw these little things?

The answer is probably as complicated as the question, so I'm not gonna dwell on it...

There are fractures in my relationship that made me stopped drawing them.

Without going too much into what the fractures are, 

to put it simply, I no longer feel the thrill which urges me to fill my schedule with little red hearts.

But today, it came back----I want to draw one little heart on my notebook again.

That old-fashioned, simple and humble notebook I have. 

It's so humble and old-fashioned that I find it simply adorable.

But the sad thing is that the notebook is so 'used' that it is falling apart now.

And my new schedule book only starts with 25th this month.

Um...so what should I do? 

Now that I'm back to this 'I have to draw a little red heart' feeling, why not do it here and share the joy with my readers?

So here it is, 

8th December, 2012: ♥

Oh! I forgot to tell you what the little heart means!

Whenever I see my boyfriend, whether it's a whole-day date or just a brief MTR ride of a few stations, I draw a heart.

I draw it out of the joy of seeing him and spending time with him (no matter how short it might be), I just want to mark the moment down. 

I'm so glad it's coming back.

Those long-lost feelings...

the excitement I have the night before our date,

the sweet contentment when you hug me tight or hold my hand,

the comfort of having you around, spending time with me doing nothing,

the way you gently touch my face and kiss my forehead without me asking for it,

the relief when I can finally talk to you after a day of work and exhaustion,

the feeling that I miss you when we say goodbye (or even before we say goodbye!).

Thank you for making me wanna draw the little hearts again.
Thanks for bringing these feelings back.

 ♥

Two in love can make it, 

Take my heart but please don't break it.

Take my heart but please don't break it.

Please?

Love,

N