Not that I wanna procrastinate, but I have to delay my posts.
Reason: I'm a bit down & stressed lately.
Relationship issues & Master's programme application are killing me.
Last night I was finding one or two more programme to apply, just in case I can't get into the one I absolutely want.
I can't find programmes that I'm truly passionate about.
Just by reading the list, I got stomachache.
I never ever get stomachache from stress, only from over-eating or eating too little.
If God/any supreme being, if there's any, asks me what I really want now, I'd say:
I wanna get into that Master's Programme in the U of Waterloo more than any other thing else.
I wanna equip myself so that I will be able to contribute to the world and make a difference.
I wanna work my ass off (or I should say 'work very hard') to make lives better.
I wanna do great things, not for the money, but out of love.
I don't know how to translate this passion into the documents I prepare for my application.
I don't wanna fail once more and feel like I can never make my dream come true.
I already have 1 dream that is now nearly-impossible, I don't wanna another one. :' (
Don't wanna do anything except throwing away stuffs.
Yesterday, only from the study room, I threw away 5 whole bags of stuff, mostly paper work.
Felt horrible for having killed so many trees, but also felt awesome to have 'simplified' my life a little bit.
Will do the posts Day 6 & Day 7 together tonight.
Gotta go find something to cheer myself up before I go crazy.
This post is so negative.
I'm SO gonna delete this post when I got better.
Don't wanna turn this blog into an online diary.
Love,
N
No comments:
Post a Comment