Day 10: Live Colorfully

Photo of the day: 

Taken at one of my favourite brands: Kate Spade New York.

I love that the brand is simple but fun, bold and chic at the same time.
I love typography, words or quotes in designs, so I can't escape from Kate Spade.
It's also reasonably priced and affordable compared to other brands.

Don't really like their handbags or clothing, but love their wallets, clutches, little leather goods and accessories like bangles or cocktail rings.

I'm using my Kate Spade wallet for a few years now, a birthday gift from my mother.
Still love it so much that I don't wanna use any other wallets.

Also partly because I think soft, worn leather is one of the most beautiful things in the world.

Last day of the year, sort of an obligatory time for everyone to ponder on the question 

'What have I done this year?'

A lot, both good and bad, has happened. But I only remember the good ones vividly.

My wonderful family, fantastic boyfriend, amazing friends, inspiring and nice people I met.

Counting my blessings is always a humbling thing to do; to realize that I got more than I deserve.

One thing that I'm very happy about: being able to be happy again.

Used to think that happiness is a very basic thing, that everybody could enjoy it as long as they embrace it.
I still think it that way, that all of us are entitled to be happy.
But now I see happiness more precious than I used to.
All because I have once lost it, for many reasons.
All because I have once let failure, negativity, frustration and confusion consumed me to a point that I couldn't find a reason why I should be happy about being me.

Being happy again is a process.
Step out of the shade bit by bit, changing the way I think one idea at a time, kicking away the negativity one thing at a time.
In the year 2011, I'm very happy. And I'm truly grateful for that.
I'm more positive than ever.

In my third year of university life, I have found myself again.
More comfortable with what I study, more comfortable with myself.
I was once so lost in the world of politics, wondering:

why people do more harm to each other than help?

why are we always flawed & behave in a certain way and could we change it?

why do wars still happen in the 21st century and will it ever stop?
why do we study political science instead of the art of peace and love?

Up until this moment, I have no answer to those questions.
(If any of you have an idea, enlighten me please)

But I'm no longer frustrated or saddened by the reality that we live in a flawed, sometimes very cruel and bad, world.

We might not able to change everything. But we can do it one step at a time.

Like how I find my way back to happiness. Stay hopeful and love life.

I'm not perfect or close to perfect.
But at least now I'm not obsessed with it.
(Confession: Well, I still wanna get As...because if I don't, I feel like I didn't do enough to feed my curiosity. And I'm always curious.)
I still wanna improve and be better, not aiming at perfection, just wanna be a better person in various ways.

I want to be an inspiring person who spreads love and positivity.
I want to serve not just children or the psychologically broken, but also other needy in the world. (which is why I'm preparing for master's application in Canada)

This year, I lived my life with love. Surrounded by love and tried to spread love as much as possible too.

'Love as hard as I can' became the line that represents the year, or my current outlook of life.
I hope my love-life attitude and positivity are staying with me for 2012 or my entire life.

Going to a jazz bar tonight with my boyfriend.
This is the first time I'm not at home or in my boyfriend's or friend's place for countdown.
I love staying home for countdowns, cozy and warm (physically or metaphorically), feeling that love is in the air.
I don't like the crowd and the confusing traffic arrangements.
I don't like being with a million strangers around me, or be specific, only within 5cm around me.
But since I'm having my love-life attitude, I'm gonna try something different this year.

Dear, I wish you a happy new year. Live colorfully, enjoy life and love hard.
Love & a big hug,
N

Day 9: Dance

Having been going out a lot these days.
The rest of the holiday, I'm going to be an introvert.
I cannot be at one end of the spectrum for too long.
But I cannot stay in-between for too long either; it bores me.

Running bores me too. It is probably the sport that I hate most.
I wish I can be more sportive, like my boyfriend. But then if I'm sportive, it's not me.

My favourite sport: Dance
I have tried a few dances; international ballroom, latin dance, belly dance, Argentine tango, salsa.
I enjoy watching some of the street dances too, like popping, but street dance is never my type of dance.
Probably because street dances are more angry, strong type of dance and I don't like being angry & strong at the same time.
I like those types I list because they are delicate combination of strength, gentleness, class, beauty and sex appeal.
One might look very soft and gentle while dancing, but really, one has to use many, if not all, muscles to maintain a great form and posture, just to look soft.

I'm most happy and in control of my body when I dance.
I learned to use muscles that I didn't know I have.
I learned to walk and stand properly.
I learned to pay attention to even my fingertips and toes.
I learned to do make a better spin by turning my head and whipping my hair.

I learned to respect and follow the lead of man.
I learned to trust. (when ladies dance, most of the time we're doing it backwards and in heels AND arching our backs when we're doing ballroom)
I learned to speak with my body, listen to the silent messages of my partner and react.

Dancing is pure joy to me. I even enjoy the muscle pain.
Well, the blisters and pain from wearing high-heels for hours are excruciating, I have to say.

I have learnt so much from dancing,
way more than just dancing and the techniques.

Love,
N

Day 8: Girlfriends

A day of get-together, with girls coming back for the holidays.
Took many pictures today, with the girls. But I'm really making an effort to preventing turning this blog into a personal online diary.

Photo of the day
The photo looks like it's taken somewhere in the mainland China!
The mall kind of resembles the malls in China.
Many small shops selling so many things, cheap but not of good quality.
Then two of my friends said they're bored with their hair, but wigs are too expensive in Canada.
So we ended up buying wigs, not the entire wig, just the fringes and the extensions.

I have never been to any wig shop.
It's very creepy, especially if the shop sells wigs made of real human hair. And those mannequins.
I have too much hair and I already have enough trouble dealing with my own hair.
Don't need extra trouble.
But we had fun in the shop, laughing our heads off as we try out the wigs.

Me in the mirror.

If it isn't my girls, I would never go into a wig shop.

If it isn't my girls, I would never have so much fun in such unexpected places.

The best thing of the day: meeting girlfriends for dinner
12 of them. Some are close friends, some I haven't met for a few years.
We didn't have that awkward i-haven't-met-you-for-too-long-we-are-strangers-now feelings. No, we don't.
All of us were happy to see each other.We all had a blast.
We were very loud and noisy; all the laughter, screaming and non-stop talking.
And random hugs and kisses.

There is a Chinese proverb which goes like this: 3 women make a market.
Imagine 13 girls coming together.
No, not just 4 markets, you're underestimating us.
We are 13 happy, excited and talkative girls.
With alcohol.
In the private room of the restaurant.
Now, imagine THAT.


I bet if any boy sees us, especially the drunk girls and the swearing ones, we'll scare them away.
Well, actually just by the deafening decibels, we scare people away.
That's why our boyfriends are not always invited: to save their ears, protect our images and prevent a fight.

I went to a girls' school for 13 years. Best school ever, at least in this city & in my heart.
That 13 years was one of the best and happiest times of my life. It really made me who I am.
And I absolutely love it: both the school and the experience of being in it for 13 whole years.
People say students going to single-sex schools have problems getting along with the opposite sex.
They are so wrong.
No offense, but none of us become a nun.
We are perfectly healthy and sociable girls, with healthy relationships.
Well, sometimes it's not healthy because some of us get along too well with the boys.

Anyway, the point is: I'm really grateful to have so many wonderful girlfriends.
Not just the girls in tonight's get-together (I am not that close with some of them)
But all the amazing girls I know from the 13 years in the girls' school.
Best girls in the world. Some of us are more like sisters.

Sisterhood is different from brotherhood.
Not judging on the degree and extent of love, but the way of expressing love.
We hug, we kiss, we hold hands, we pour our hearts out with long chats, we laugh like there's no tomorrow, we shout 'I love you!' randomly.
Boys don't do that. They just give each other a pat on the shoulder. That's it. They express love quietly.
Thank God I'm not a boy!

P.S. K, I wish you are here with us. You totally missed out the fun we had.

Love,
N

Day 7: Photography

Not into professional photography.
I'm happy with just a decent digital camera but currently thinking of investing into a better camera.
Using a normal Canon for this challenge while my Fuji instant camera is my partner for the other project.

I do believe that a photo captures more than just an image and tells a lot.

Was finding some books today, with areas of interests like: Honors-project-related, fashion, home decor/ interior design, leisure reads, psychology, behavioral economics and politics.
Found a big picture book called Sexybook, by Esther Haase.

I would describe it as a photo diary of life in Moulin Rouge.
A lot of glamour, dancers, dazzling and sparkling costumes and nudity.
I enjoyed looking at the photos. Beauty comes in all shapes and ages.
Not being dirty-minded, but um...I sort of like erotic/nude photography.
Just that it's real and sensual, really not being dirty-minded or looking for porn.

Photo of the day: I took a few photos from the book.
Feel like I'm cheating...like illegally downloading....um...not very good
But let's focus on the photos (all credits go to Esther Haase, if you want more of her photos, buy the book)
Won't show the ones with nudity. And I wanna be fair to the photographer, so I shouldn't show you too many pictures.

News: I'm opening a Tumblr account.
My Tumblr website: subtlyextreme.tumblr.com
It's particularly for sharing of images that I love or find interesting or inspiring. (I don't own them)
And I have a big thing for typography. So, there will be LOTS of typography in my tumblr.
Typography is such a beautiful and artistic blend of words and images. It captivates me.

Not gonna quit blogging, just need an 'online inspiration board' sort of thing for my collection of beautiful images and also sexy images occasionally.
Come here often & go to tumblr when you just want images.
Please go check it out or follow it if you want.
But once again, this blog is still the main thing.

Love,
N

P.S. Read the post on Day 6. I put the post date back to 26th Dec.
(Not cheating if I'm making honest confession to you)

Delaying Posts

Not that I wanna procrastinate, but I have to delay my posts.
Reason: I'm a bit down & stressed lately.
Relationship issues & Master's programme application are killing me.

Last night I was finding one or two more programme to apply, just in case I can't get into the one I absolutely want.
I can't find programmes that I'm truly passionate about.
Just by reading the list, I got stomachache.
I never ever get stomachache from stress, only from over-eating or eating too little.

If God/any supreme being, if there's any, asks me what I really want now, I'd say:
I wanna get into that Master's Programme in the U of Waterloo more than any other thing else.
I wanna equip myself so that I will be able to contribute to the world and make a difference.
I wanna work my ass off (or I should say 'work very hard') to make lives better.
I wanna do great things, not for the money, but out of love.

I don't know how to translate this passion into the documents I prepare for my application.

I don't wanna fail once more and feel like I can never make my dream come true.
I already have 1 dream that is now nearly-impossible, I don't wanna another one. :' (

Don't wanna do anything except throwing away stuffs.
Yesterday, only from the study room, I threw away 5 whole bags of stuff, mostly paper work.
Felt horrible for having killed so many trees, but also felt awesome to have 'simplified' my life a little bit.

Will do the posts Day 6 & Day 7 together tonight.
Gotta go find something to cheer myself up before I go crazy.

This post is so negative.
I'm SO gonna delete this post when I got better.
Don't wanna turn this blog into an online diary.

Love,
N

Day 6: Bohemian

'Not in the mood.'
This is the wildcard of girls.Well, at least, me. I think I heard someone saying 'stereotype!'
When we (oops!) I, don't wanna do something, from work to sex (not a part of my current life, just for example), I don't really need a legitimate reason that makes sense, let alone being reasonable.
Well, emotions is a big thing for girls. It's what our brains are built around, how our brains are wired.

Not in my perfect 'blogging/ photo-taking' mood, but still need to push myself a bit so that I don't fall into the spiral of depressive mood and inactivity.
And I have to keep my words.

So, here it goes:

A picture I drew, not my best or better works.
Don't expect too much, I have never taken any painting classes.
I did this one night when I can't sleep.
Thoughts battling in my mind but the late night itself was quiet and serene, perfect for painting.

One of the many thoughts was the bohemian lifestyle.
I have a fantasy of living like a bohemian.
I'm sort of a bohemian at heart, not always but the desire comes back every now and then.
By bohemian, I refer to the French kind of bohemians, not the American hippies.

My ideal bohemian lifestyle is like:
1) French-inspired, singing Je Ne Veux Pas Travailler all day long, doing what I want instead of following routines, picnics in the park, lying on the grass/ the beach, a bit of drinking and eating good food in small portions so that I won't become really overweight
(one of my weird theories: being moderately curvy is a way to happiness)

2) Absolutely no drugs or casual sex.Other things: in moderation.
Sex is not a part of my life now.
Another of my little theories for a good life:
(might vary on the first one, but absolutely gonna stick with the latter one)
Don't have sex before you are married, unless you wanna/sure that you are serious or gonna marry him/her. (no one can be sure, so forget it)
Don't have too few sex after you are married.
(Absolutely yes on this one! There you go, a possible solution to save marriage and prevent a divorce. Thank me later.*wink*)

3) Not necessary impoverished.
Come back from the sex part or my little theories, I'm talking about bohemian lifestyle!
Yup, my ideal bohemian way of living is simple. But not impoverished.
It's about voluntary frugality, not poverty.
I still wanna live in the city or the countryside, not wilderness or...in an old car.

The sarcastic part of me just said: Pretentious fake bohemian. Haha.
Hey! My 'love hard & love all' attitude is a proof of the bohemian in me!
So maybe what I want is 'urban-bourgeoisie-bohemianism'?
I just invented a new term! A lengthy one. Let's just call it UBB.

Back to the drawing. It's also about the romance of bohemian fashion: floral headband, wavy messy hair.
I absolutely adore bohemian style in fashion.

Why I like Bohemian Style in Fashion: (Maybe I have an obsession for making lists but...I'm just being a woman!)
1) The loose fitting which allows me to move around, dance, twirl or even climb
2) Self-expressive: dressing for comfort but hopefully still pretty (an extra clause for my definition of UBB).
3) Floral prints and lace (moderation is the key), maxi dresses, the simplicity, sheer & light fabric, pretty ethnic prints, lots of jewelries, turquoise accessories, brown leather items, etc etc. I just can't say no.
I can only say no to ponchos and fringes. Ponchos and capes never make me look good.
I never wear a fringe bag.
And I only wear clothes with fringes in two occasions: latin dance or Halloween.
4) Long, wavy, messy hair. My signature. Don't really brush my hair & I can never get it straight, just naturally curl and untamed. That's the word: untamed.

My painting faintly reminds me of Mischa Barton. Maybe I'm influenced by the images of her that I saw, without remembering. Anyway, it's an interesting coincidence: the green eyes and floral headband

Love,
N

Day 5: Simple Pleasures

Theme of the day: Simple Pleasures

The past few days were a bit rough, but I'm not gonna let it bring me down or ruin my holidays.
I know I'm flawed, but not gonna let it break me, not anymore.
Just need to keep on improving and be a better person. For myself. : )
C'est la vie. And still I love my life.

So, here I am: Back to the basics.
When I'm stressed or down, I go back to the basics.
My Back-to-the-Basics routine
1) Eat my favourite food, in moderation
2) Dance every feeling and emotion out
3) Throw out things, keep my surroundings as simple & minimal as possible
4) Find some way to let go of my animalistic desire for aggression and insanity

I can't make a full list of comfort foods, simply because I enjoy eating so much. (Maybe too much)

Today I'm gonna share with you one of my favourite 'simple but comforting' food.
Ready? Je vous presente....

The egg sandwich from Australia Dairy Co.! (um...in Jordan, Kowloon)

See the rich, creamy, soft scrambled egg?

Slightly toasted bread, very thinly-buttered, incredibly smooth, creamy and moist scrambled egg. 

Simple as that. Just ordinary egg sandwich.
But they do a mean egg sandwich!
They do every little detail just right and so perfectly. 

I heard the woman in front of me ordered Cheese Egg Sandwich!
Gonna try that next time. I bet it's even better than the regular egg sandwich. 

I'm not sure but somehow I believe they use buttermilk in the scrambled egg, not cream or regular milk.
Taste? Heavenly! I almost used the word 'orgasmic' haha : P
Oh yes, I should write a post on how I use words with sexual connotation in the most extraordinary and unimaginable situations.
Example: I think Transformers are hot.
Yes, the robots. Yes, sexy that type of hot. Right, that should be one of my posts in the future

Back to the egg sandwich. It's so simple but unbelievably delicious that it brightens up my day in an instant.

My boyfriend laughs at me when he sees me eating that; my 'um....this is sooooo good! I'm in heaven!' face.

The simple, old-fashioned paper bag.

Just looking at this paper bag makes me smile.

That restaurant always has a queue outside and you can't really eat slowly when you got in.
So I usually order takeaways. Don't like to eat when I'm on the street though.
Anyway, you've got to try this! And I heard the milk tea is good too.
Any dairy product or egg-related dish from that restaurant is good.
(Now this is a bit touristy...disclaimer: not commissioned or doing a commercial here : P)

So, if you are living in this city, go try the sandwich, tell me how you like or dislike it.
If you don't like it (and if I know you in person), I promise I'll treat you your favourite food!

Okay, eating comfort food, check.
I feel so much better already.


Love,
N