Too Much to Ask For?

Usually this time of the day, I should be already in bed, sound asleep after a day of work.
But not for tonight.
I don't want to cry myself to sleep just to cry myself awake again in the middle of the night.
So I decided to get up and write something to get things out of my head.
The ground beneath my feet begins to shake, things around me seem to dismantle one after the other...

You know, it's just a fine line between being romantic and being pathetically unrealistic.
I couldn't tell which type I belong to.
By "pathetically unrealistic", I don't mean I'm looking for a billionaire to buy me big diamonds, or a model-like handsome man to make me breakfast every morning.
Turns out looking for a person who can share with me everything is already a "pathetically unrealistic" demand.
Is it?

If so, here is my quixotic idea of an ideal relationship with my dream life partner who of course doesn't exist in real life:
I want a man who dares to be nakedly honest with me; for both good things and the bad.

I don't need flowers or rocks, I need someone who gives himself to me; his heart, soul and body, everything.
He has to be a person who willingly and eagerly shares with me his dreams, his pride, what breaks his heart, his worries, fears, secrets, fantasies, and allow me into even the darkest corner in his mind and heart, and dying to know the same things about me.

I want to be soothed by the knowledge that in a world of over 7 billion, he chose me to open up to and I know him best.
When I love a person, I crave him in the most innocent, raw form; a simple but desperate way--I want him as a whole.

It is not only the good and glorious side of you that I'm interested in, it's also the "flawed" side of you that I crave; things that make you interesting, things that make you a human.
Everything. Every bit of it.

And if the person loves me the same way and as intense, I shouldn't have to fight for that privilege to have glimpses of his soul.
If he wants me in his life as much as I want him to be in mine, he'll just put me there.
I shouldn't have to fight for a spot.
I shouldn't have to demand for anything.
And I shouldn't have to spend a lifetime figuring out who he really is and what kind of a person he is.

You know, it's not about whether or not you betray or cheat on me, it's about our connection.
The moment you stop sharing genuinely, the door to your heart begins to close and the connection begins to fall apart.
Stop saying that it's normal for a relationship to evolve and the passion to cool.

To put it simply, I think I deserve to know the real you, with all the truth and honesty.
Is this too much to ask for?

Perhaps, it's too much to ask for...
I hope I'm not asking the wrong person though...

Love,
N

P.S. Dear readers, don't let my negativity affect you.