Monday, November 14, 2011

Nobody's Perfect

Today's social psychology class was on aggression.
We were asked on what kind of aggressive behaviour we ever did on somebody else.
Clearly, no one thought they are abusive both physically or mentally, which is not true.
At some point of our lives, each and everyone of us has done something that hurt others, or even ourselves.

The lecture ended with how we should deal with aggression; to forgive.

Sometimes, I overthink. Perhaps more than sometimes.
I recall the past.
I think of people and things that I used to have/
              people and things that I did not have/
              people and things that I lost/
              the mistakes I have made
              and chances I missed.
And it kills me.

Overthinking & not letting go is probably the most torturing & mentally-abusive thing I ever did to myself.
The ideas of 'I should have...' and 'I shouldn't have...' just battle in my mind in a very disturbing way which makes the word 'haunting' very appropriate to use.

My inspiring psychology prof said, 'forgiving is not forgetting.'
Forgiving doesn't mean you don't have feelings over what happened,
it means that you understand clearly what happened but decide not to let emotions take over you anymore.
She's right.

When overthinking and recalling the past is too unbearably painful, I say to myself,
'it doesn't matter anymore.'
I have said it too many times, mostly out of frustration, instead of letting go or forgiveness.

This time when I say 'it doesn't matter anymore' to myself or somebody else,
I truly meant forgiveness and let go, not with bitterness but with sincerity and love.

All that love and sincerity comes from gratitude.
That I am grateful for what happened to me because it makes me stronger & better.
That I know the best way to greet the future is learning from the past and not making the same mistake twice.

It's over & things are gonna be alright now.


Love,
N

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